Just in case you are wondering.....
Cold Moon is the name of a legendary ancient Chinese sword
"Heal yourself first,
before you heal others"
African Proverb
In response to my previous post "Give a Hug, Spread the Love", a friend of mine sent me this beautiful poem by Shel Silverstein.
Hug O' War
I will not play at tug o' war,
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everone hugs,
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles,
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
Where everone cuddles.
And everyone wins.
THIS IS A FIRE RAINBOW - THE RAREST OF ALL NATURALLY OCCURRING ATMOSPHERIC PHENOMENA.
THE PICTURE WAS CAPTURED ON THE IDAHO / WASHINGTON BORDER. THE EVENT LASTED ABOUT 1 HOUR.
CLOUDS HAVE TO BE CIRRUS, AT LEAST 20K FEET IN THE AIR, WITH JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF ICE CRYSTALS AND THE SUN HAS TO HIT THE CLOUDS AT PRECISELY 58 DEGREES.
AMAZING, ISN'T IT?!
To all the moms:
Happy Mother's Day!
You have worked so hard, all year around. I hope you get to take a day off, and enjoy your special day. I hope you love the festivities and/or any loving gestures your family bestow on you. Even if none of your family is around to celebrate this day with you, I hope you make a point to do or have something you love today. Hey, this is your special day, and you totally deserve it.
I just called my Mom in Taiwan. None of us could spend Mother's Day with her, and my dad had to attend a meeting today. I was so glad to find that Mom was in a good mood, nonetheless. I said, "Well, Mom, since Dad is not home, you've got a day off! How are you going to celebrate your special day?" She told me cheerfully that she's got some ideas -- she might visit this or that city, do some shopping, visit her favorite coffee shop, etc. She was getting herself ready to go out and enjoy her free time. I'm pretty sure she is going to dress up and have fun out on the town. Way to go, Mom! That's the spirit!
Motherhood is life-changing. I'm positive that you'd agree with me. Being a mom has changed me on so many levels. It's the most challenging job I've ever taken on, and the most amazing journey I've experienced. I'd never trade it for anything in the world.
Before you go out for your Mother's Day celebration, here are some thoughts for you to ponder.
You are loving and caring... You give your children unconditional love, the highest level of love in the world. You are the go-to person when anyone needs TLC - a hug, a kiss, some encouraging words, or chocolate chip cookies. You are love, personified.
You are patient... Reading "The Little Engine That Could" for the 1,000th time, with the same level of joy and enthusiasm (even when you were so tired you could barely keep your eyes open); getting your toddler potty trained; helping your child with challenging homework; sewing your child's school play or Halloween costume... that takes patience.
You are committed... Hey, you took on a life-long commitment to be a mom, didn't you?!
You are strong and you persevere... Think about what you had to go through to bring your child to the world -- the pregnancy, the labor pain, the adoption process -- need I say more? Think about all the challenges you've gone through to take care of your children and make sure they are healthy, safe and happy. You are much tougher than you give yourself credit for.
You are disciplined... You get up every morning to take care of your family, cooking, feeding, bathing, cleaning... day after day, after day. If that's not discipline, I don't know what is.
You take charge and get things done... You are the one who organizes and coordinates everyone's schedules, and make sure nobody misses doctor's appointments, soccer practice, band concert, birthday party, anniversary dinner (even if you have to plan it yourself).
You know when to say no and stand your ground... You have no problem telling your toddler or teenager what they are not supposed to do, even if you know they are not gonna like you.
You are creative... You've created a loving home for your children. You use your creativity in the ways you show your love, the foods you cook, the stories you tell, the imaginative plays, the silly songs you make up, the garden you planted and all the family vacations and memories you help create.
You are powerful... You were given the power and privilege to co-create a life (your child), to help your child reach his/her full potential and create a better world. That's enormous power and responsibility.
You are beautiful... Have you ever looked deeply into your child's eyes and see your own reflection? You are absolutely beautiful... no laugh lines or stretch marks could ever diminish your beauty.
I hope you take a few moment here and let it all sink in.
Next time, when someone else, or that nasty little voice in your head, tells you that you are not loving enough, strong enough, pretty enough, disciplined enough, or that you are too "selfish" for taking care of yourself, or whatever, tell them to get lost. They simply don't know any better.
You are perfect and whole, just the way you are. You deserve to be loved and adored, just like you love and adore your children. Now, go ahead and celebrate this day the way you truly deserve.
Forward this message to any moms you know who could use a little validation or encouragement. As moms, we ought to support and empower one another.
Take good care of yourself... you are irreplaceable!
I talked to my coach yesterday, and she asked me what my plans are for Thanksgiving. I said, "Well, my parents and in-laws are overseas, and my sister and cousins all seem to be too busy this year to get together. So, we (the four of us) are basically on our own this year."
Her response was, "Oh, I am SO envious of you! I'm going to my mom's for Thanksgiving tomorrow, and I'm SO not looking forward to it!"
Sounds like my coach has a serious case of Turkey Day Blue.
I guess we are lucky. My husband and I are so laid back this year. In fact, he suggested going to an all-you-can-eat Japanese seafood buffet for Thanksgiving dinner. We figured, none of us are huge fans of turkey. Honestly, I'm not interested in laboring for hours to cook something I'm not so crazy about, and the kids probably wouldn't miss it. Well, we were wrong. My son protested, when I mentioned that there won't be a turkey dinner this Thanksgiving. So, this was 9:30pm Monday night, 2 days before Thanksgiving, and DH and I were going online & calling up nearby grocery stores, trying to order a Thanksgiving dinner for four.
Of course, most of the places had either sold out their Thanksgiving dinners, or they required a big order like a party of 10 or more.
It's kind of funny, when you think about it. All I wanted was a very small turkey (so we won't be stuck, or I should say, stuffed, with turkey leftovers for weeks!) but my son wanted the mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, and the whole 9 yards. Well, he is always the one in our family with the most "American stomach".
Did we find our turkey dinner? Yes, we finally found it on Tuesday, so yes, we will be having a traditional turkey dinner tonight, instead of Japanese sushi & seafood.
I'm very grateful for whatever dinner we have, and most of all, for my very beautiful, happy & healthy family who will be sitting at the dinner table together.
As for my poor coach (and anyone reading this) who's got the Turkey Day Blue, I send my sympathy and blessings.
I asked my coach this question, and if you also have the Turkey Day Blue, this would be a good question for you to ponder.
This is what I said to her: "Here is a coaching question for you: If your goal is to have more peace & joy and less stress, what would you commit to do differently this holiday season?"
P.S. If you can't answer that question, maybe you can benefit from my upcoming Teleclass "Joyful and Stress-less Holidays". Sign up here.
Sorry I've been MIA from this blog for sooooo long. I still write regularly on my other blog Intensive Care for the Nurturer's Soul, though. If you have not read it, you should check it out!
I thought nobody was really reading this blog any more, but something happened last weekend that made me re-consider. As soon I walked into my Tai Chi Sword class last weekend, a guy I've never met before immediately shouted out: "Hey, you're the lady with the Echoes of Cold Moon blog!!!" I'm NOT kidding.
I was a little shocked how he even recognized me. He told me he was looking for a Tai Chi class and found my blog because of my Wudang Tai Chi Sword post. Wow, you never know.
Also, just the other day, someone left a new comment on my last post written back in May. When I went to find his blog, it was a diary of his recent trip to China, complete with great photos.
Guess I'm getting a gentle nudge from the Universe to come back to write on this blog. So, I'm back!
As I woke up to this beautiful sunny day this morning, having just returned from a whole day of empowering experience at the Morristown Women's Festival yesterday, I felt totally at peace and joyful. I felt loved. And, above all, I felt grateful.
It's been an absolutely amazing journey for me as a mother. My daughter is 11 and my son is 9 this year. I feel blessed to have my Mom and sisters (pictured, I was 3 months pregnant with my daughter in that picture), and so many wonderful girlfriends with me on this journey.
Just as we are growing our children, our children are growing us! I've learned so much about myself, and grown so much as a woman.
I hope you celebrate today, knowing that you are the perfect mom for your child(ren).
I hope you enjoy this day, knowing that no matter where you are on your life's journey, you are on the right path to become the woman you are meant to be.
I hope you trust and surrender to your Self, and relax into it.
I hope you let your Inner Goddess come out and play, even just for a day!
I hope you savor today, knowing that you are loved.
You hold within you the love you are seeking.
You are LOVE.
Written by Hueina Su on Mother's Day, May 13, 2007
I came across this post on Reflections of Time today, in which a father talks about his 3 1/2 years old son's love for Thomas the Tank Engine. Ah, this brought back so many sweet memories!
My son CB used to be a HUGE fan of Thomas the Tank Engine when he was little. I bought him his first Thomas when he was about 1 year old, and he fell madly in love with Thomas at first sight! He would carry his little Thomas the Tank Engine wherever he went. He often quietly played with & stared at Thomas while lying on his tummy on the floor, until he fell asleep. Back then he couldn't tell me what's on his mind, but I often imagined he must be talking to Thomas in his mind and making up all sorts of adventures he and Thomas' friends could go on together.
His collection of Thomas & friends quickly grew, as his passion for Thomas and all trains grew with him. He's got so many engines, train tracks, videos, books, outfits, and of course, he had to be Thomas the Tank Engine for Halloween -- 3 years in a row! He could name ALL 100+ engines in the Thomas the Tank Engine series, and their different personalities. He had a big 24-piece floor puzzle of Thomas, and he could put together that puzzle upside down! We took him to ride the Thomas the Tank Engine (a full-size steam locomotive) at the Strasburg Railroad, TWICE in 3 years. That's how much we loved Thomas!
When he was about 2 1/2 years old, we went to my daughter's first piano recital (she was 5). LK did a great job playing her very first recital piece. When she was done, the MC gave her a little trophy that every kid who played in the recital got. LK excitedly ran back to me and DH to show us her trophy. What we did not expect was that CB walked straight up to the piano, while I was busy taking a picture of LK with her first trophy. The audience started giggling when CB walked right to the MC, handed the MC the Thomas the Tank Engine that he was holding, and proceeded to climb up the piano bench as if he was going to give a recital. The MC happened to be LK's piano teacher who, amused by CB's impromptu performance, turned to the audience and said, "I know he is not in the program, but, do you mind?" The audience burst into laughter and applauded for CB. So, in front of the full auditorium, CB performed his "Impromptu Op no. 1", which was about 10 seconds long, I think. The audience was cheering for him when he finished.
I had a picture of his very first (although informal) piano recital. He was so little sitting at the concert grand piano. Last winter (he was almost 9) when he was complaining about piano practice and saying he didn't like recitals, I told him about his very first piano recital. Of course, he didn't remember at all. His eyes drew very wide, as if I was telling some kind of fantasy adventure story.
Like all parents who wish their babies would never grow up, I thought CB's love affair with Thomas the Tank Engine would last forever. I knew that was my wishful thinking, but I didn't want to face the reality. He was still playing with Thomas when he was in second grade. Then, out of the blue, one day he told me, "Mom, I think I'm too old for Thomas".
"What? Too old for Thomas?!! But, but, you love Thomas soooo much!!!" I was in shock!
CB calmed explained to me that he liked Bionicles better now, and that I could give away ALL of his Thomas trains.
I couldn't believe my ears! My baby Thomas was all grown up!
I asked DH to put away all Thomas trains in the attic, and told CB that he could ask us to take them out when he wanted to play with them again. He never did. He has moved on to Bionicles, and he never looked back.
We finally decided to sell CB's train table last winter, because it's just sitting there taking up precious space in his little room. On a cold, rainy night, a young couple with a baby boy just over one year old came to look at the train table and bought it. I told them how much CB enjoyed that train table playing his Thomas & friends, and that their son will enjoy the train table for years to come. When they left with the train table, I felt like a part of me left with it.
It was the end of an era, a very important chapter of CB's life (and mine too). Somehow, I was the only one feeling sad....
© Copyright 2007 Hueina Su, Beyond Horizon Coaching
I remember reading a story about a mom telling her soon-to-be-married daughter to never let go of her girlfriends. At first the daughter thought she wouldn't need her girlfriends any more, since she was going to become a wife, and have her own family very soon. She did, however, heed her mom's advice. She kept in touch with her girlfriends over the years, and as she grew older (and wiser), she became more and more appreciative of her mom's advice and her girlfriends.
I, for one, can totally relate to that story.
My own mother, who loves me dearly, gave me a very different advice, though, before I became a mom myself. She told me, "Be prepared to sacrifice at least 10 years of your life for this baby". Yes, sacrifice. That's the exact word she used. I looked at her and nodded, like a good girl I've always been, but, the "rebelling" part of me was like "Sacrifice? 10 years? No way! What about me? What about my life???"
I know that "self-sacrifice" is a virtue in my culture (I wrote an article about this before), and my parents totally subscribe to that value. My mother basically cut off her ties with all her friends when she got married, partially because she thought that was "the right thing" to do, and partially because she was too busy helping my father's practice and raising the three of us. She took pride in being a "good mother" (she is a great mother, in fact), but, even as a young child, I could see her lonliness. There's a void in her heart that even her picture-perfect family couldn't fill.
So, on that day when my mother offered her motherly advice, I nodded in appreciation for her love, but knew that that's one advice I would not take. I knew deep in my heart of hearts that, I will love my children like no one else will love them, but, there's some part of me and my life I will not "sacrifice". My friendship with my friends is one of those things.
Over the years, I've made many dear friends, in school, at work, and through my children's friends. Some of my oldest friends have gone through the same life transitions as I did: college, graduate school, career, marriage, kids, 2nd career, etc. We've been through a lot together and separately. The guys who used to play tennis with me till sundown every weekend, are now playing a bigger game in the business world. The girls who used to play dress up with dreamy eyes, have since put on career suits or are busy dressing up their lovely kids. We used to travel to scenic spots and pose for each other's photographic "masterpiece"; now most pictures we take are about our own kids (most of my friends even leave themselves out of the holiday photo greeting cards).
We don't always keep in touch very often (you know how busy motherhood/fatherhood can be), and some of us don't even live on the same continent any more, but we've somehow managed to still keep each other "around" in our lives. You know the kind of friends who you can pick up the phone to talk to, after not hearing from each other for years, and still feel like you've never been apart? I was overjoyed when one of my best friends in high school got in touch with me (thank goodness for Internet), after we'd lost touch for more than 10 years!! It was such a precious gift to have her back in my life. We've got a lot of catching up to do, needless to say.
Last month, I was invited to speak at a local MOMS Club. This brought back SO many memories! There was a time when my husband and I moved a lot due to his job. We'd lived in 4 different states in 6 calendar years. When we made the move from Maryland to Delaware, I had to give up my career as a counselor, and we both made the decision that I would stay home for a while to take care of our 8-month old baby girl. When we moved, we only knew one couple in the state of Delaware, who lived half an hour away from us. I was totally unprepared for the transition from full-time working mom to full-time stay-at-home mom with my first baby, in a new city where we knew nobody, and our families hundreds of miles away. I missed my own office, my lunch break, my colleagues & friends, my paycheck, but most of all, my freedom. I was lonely and exhausted. Then one day I saw a flyer in the grocery store about MOMS Club, and that changed my life. I was so fortunate to have found a small group of moms with similar education & background (we were all professional women who decided to stay home for our first baby), and our babies were only a month or two apart. The weekly playgroup and the friendship I formed with these moms became my life-savor. We all went on to have our second (some of us had the third) child, and although most of us moved away after a couple years, most of us kept in touch and remained good friends till today (my daughter is 11 years old this year).
It's a rare gift in life to have good friends like that. I'm very blessed and grateful to have many in my life. How about you? Do you have friends you can lean on? Do you stay in touch with your dearest friends? Do you have some long lost friends that you would like to re-connect? Or, would you like to make some new friends who share your life experiences, passion or values? What are you waiting for? Life is too short.
"We will meet again my friend,
A hundred years from today
Far away from where we lived
And where we used to play.
We will know each others' eyes
And wonder where we met
Your laugh will sound familiar
Your heart, I won't forget.
We will meet,
I'm sure of this,
But let's not wait till then...
Let's take a walk beneath the stars
And share this world again."
-- Ron Atchison
Don't wait any longer. We're all extremely busy. When do you think you will actually have "free time" to connect with your friends? You've got to "make time" for friendships -- nurture the old ones and cultivate the new ones.
When you think of a friend, pick up the phone or drop him/her a quick note. It doesn't have to be elaborate, either. While a handmade card will be treasured for a long time, a quick email to say "hello, I miss you" would be appreciated as well.
Make a point to make a coffee or lunch date with your good friends. I usually try to have at least one of these dates a month. Just seeing them on my calendar makes me so happy. Occasionally I go out for a Girls Night Out. Since my kids were very little, they knew that Mommy needed her "playdate" just as much as they needed theirs. I always come home energized and happier, and the good mood could last for days or even weeks.
If you've ever gone out with your girlfriends, I'm sure your husband noticed the difference when you came home. That's a good reason to convince him that you should take turns to go out with your own friends, on a somewhat regular basis. It's good for your mental well-being as well as your relationship at home. If you don't have a partner to watch your kids, try to hire a sitter or team up with another mom, so you can spend some quality time with your friends sans your kids. Even though you and your friends might still spend your time talking about your kids, spending time with your friends alone will definitely lift your spirit.
It takes efforts to maintain friendships, of course. It's not always easy, especially when you've got a full plate already, but the investment in friendship is well worth it in the long run.
Be the one to reach out to your friends. Make a small (or grand) gesture to show that you are thinking of them today. Both you and your friends will thank you for that.
I was reading Southern Eye for a Northern Guy by Heather at Everything Under the Moon. It's part II of a series of four articles about the Southern four seasons, written for people from "the North" I suppose, and this article is about summer.
Ah, this brought back so many memories.... We moved from Delaware to southeast Texas at the end of May, 1998. If you know the Southern weather, as described by Heather's article, the summer begins EARLY in the South. When we landed in Texas at the end of May, we found ourselves in the 90 degrees heat and almost 100% humidity!!! We were overpowered by the incredible hot air when we walked out of the small airplane. My first thought was, OMG, my makeup is melting on my face! LOL
I grew up in Taiwan, which is a tiny little island in the Pacific Ocean, right next to Mainland China. We have subtropical weather, meaning hot & humid all year round. You would think that I would feel "right at home" when we moved to Texas. Ironically, I've never really liked the heat & humidity in Taiwan, especially in summer. For one thing, I have oily skin, and the combination of heat, humidity, sweat, dirt, etc. is a surefire formula for never-ending breakouts. When you started to have full-bloom acne at the tender age of 10, it's nothing but tragic!
It always amazed me, how these Southern ladies could keep their makeup & pantyhoses on all through summer -- in addition to their incredible big hair. I guess that takes true skills, which I didn't master and probably never will. Oh well. LOL!
We kinda got used to the heat & humidity in Texas after a while, but we NEVER got over the bugs. As Heather explains, "as nature has it, humidity breeds life. As a result, Southern Summers are over-run by large bugs. The further south you go, the larger the bugs. That is a scientific fact."
Yes, that IS an unfortunate scientific fact for people living in Taiwan and in the South. It gives me goose bumps, even now, to think about the giantic bugs we encountered in Texas..... the relentless mosquitos and fire ants. My son (4-month-old back then) was (and still is) very allergic to mosquito bites, yet all the mosquitos seemed to love his baby skin tremendously. Every time he got a mosquito bite, it would swell up and become a blister! Poor baby always got several blisters on him. None of the over-the-counter creams would help. The only thing that helped him was a prescription cream that his pediatrician gave us, which cost $50 every time we filled the prescription!! As you can see, the little mosquitos cost us a fortune. :-(
The fire ants were another major headache. They were vicious and they were EVERYWHERE! Once I stepped right into a fire ant hill in my own backyard, which we were unaware of. I was talking to a neighbor and backing up, without noticing where I was heading.... Hundreds of fireants climbed up my leg within seconds!!! It was a scary and painful experience. However, I was grateful that it was me, not one of my babies, who stepped into the ant hill!
We eventually moved back to the East Coast due to my husband's job. I can tell you that, although I miss our big house, our good friends, crawfish & all the yummy cajun food, I can TOTALLY live without the Texas weather and bugs!!! I so much prefer the four seasons in NJ. And even though winter is a little cold for me, that also means it's too cold for the mosquitos, and that's something to be grateful for.
A few months ago, I set a goal to compete in a Chinese Kung Fu tournament in September. I've been taking martial art training for 5 years, but I just switched to Chinese Kung Fu and Tai Chi Sword training this year. It's very different from Tae Kwon Do (a Korean martial art) that I was accustomed to, but I really enjoy the new training. I know for me to do well in something, I need to challenge myself, and competing in a tournament is certainly a great challenge.
I'm no stranger to martial arts tournaments. I have competed and medaled in several NJ state & regional Tae Kwon Do Championships. But, this would be special because it would be my very first Chinese Kung Fu tournament. I figured, it would be a new adventure and fun experience for me. I told my classmates that I was doing it for fun and for the learning experience. I'm just a "new kid on the block" in the Kung Fu world. If nothing else, it would certainly make a good bedtime story for my future grandchildren. :-)
However, right before summer, I started to have a lot of neck and back pains. As it turned out, I have 4 mild disc herniations in my neck and my lower back. The entire summer I was spending many hours in tests and treatments. I started to feel unsure about the tournament.
There was less than 2 weeks left and I didn't even own a Kung Fu uniform. I finally had to ask myself: "Are you 100% committed or just sort-of, kind-of want to do this?" It's time to clean up my act. So, I got my Kung Fu uniform and matching tassels for my sword, and signed myself up for my very first Kung Fu tournament. This is the 2006 Wong Fei Hung North Eastern All Kung Fu Championships. It's sponsored by Yee's Hung Ga International Kung Fu Association and held in Jersey City, NJ on September 23, 2006.
Last night, my son had a huge fight with me, because he didn't want to spend the entire Saturday going to a Kung Fu tournament with me. My DH and I tried to explain to him that we all have to go together, because I need Daddy there to take pictures & video, and I need all of my family to support me. "Come on", I said, "it will be so cool to watch the lion dance and all the different weapon forms!!!" Well, he doesn't think that would be fun. He would rather stay home and play with his Bionicles. I know. I understand his preference, but I want him to understand that Mommy also has something that I'd like to pursue for myself, and it's very important that I stick to my goals, and it's very important that we support our own family. No matter what I said, he just kept saying "I just don't want to go" and started wailing.
After trying to console him with no avail, I got mad & walked away. It's the night before my tournament, as nervous as I already was, I really don't need this. I also felt hurt. When my son finally calmed down, I held him on the sofa and told him that he hurt my feelings. I told him that I would ALWAYS love him, but this time I was mad at him because his behavior hurt my feelings. All these years, I have worked so hard to support everything he did, everything he liked. And now it's my turn to pursue something I like. All I ask for is some moral support from him, and the least he could do is to go to the tournament WITHOUT complaints. "It's not all about you", I told him, "Sometimes you need to do something for other people, especially your family".
I want him to know that as a family, we need to support each other. In addition, the world does not revolve around him. Even Mommy and Daddy have our own lives, our own goals, and he needs to respect that.
So, today is the day. The tournament registration started at 8:00am, so we all had to get up really early, and loaded everything in the minivan. I looked at myself in the mirror, in a sky blue Kung Fu uniform, took a deep breath, and left the house. I guess my talk worked somehow. My son was quite cooperative today -- not so enthusiastic, but didn't complain either. It turned out to be a LONG day at the tournament, but it's all worth it.
It's such an exhilirating experience! It's so awesome to see so many martial artists, from so many different styles, showing off their skills under one roof. The adrenaline-pumping sparring matches were exciting to watch; nontheless, I personally prefer the forms competition. The forms are an artful combination of strength and grace. It takes hours and hours of practice, tremendous patience, focus and discipline to learn a form well. Skills aside, there is something beautiful about it, when you see a martial artist's total focus, intention and dedication while performing a form. Sometimes it moves me to tears. I guess that's why they call it martial "art".
Martial art traing has been very empowering for me. When I was training in Tae Kwon Do, one of our student creed was "To be victorious with patience and bravery". Those are the two qualities I've been trying to cultivate. I've proven to myself so many things I (or anyone else) never thought I could do. Seriously, I'm 5'3" and less than 110 pounds. Probably the last person you would suspect who takes martial art training. I've had to overcome a lot of limiting beliefs & fears -- on my part, and from everyone around me. My parents and my doctor just couldn't understand why I wanted to do this in the first place. LOL! I tried it out because my good friend kept asking me to, and never expected that I would be any good at it. But I quickly found out that I really enjoy the challenge and the sense of achievement that comes with doing something well. I was always amazed that I was so much stronger (mentally & physically) than I thought. Besides, this was something that's for me, and me only, and that's a big deal when you are a mom. :-)
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Anyway, I competed in two categories today -- Northern Hand Form and Internal Weapons, both in the Executive Division (for people 36 and older). I did Mian Zhang Quen ("continuous palm") for the Northern Hand Form, and Wudang Tai Chi Sword for the Internal Weapons. I was very nervous for the hand form, because I had just finished learning the form about two weeks ago, and I didn't really have enough time to practice. Plus I was waiting by the ring side for SO long that I was STARVING (past 2:30pm and no lunch). I tried to do my best, but just didn't feel like I was able to execute the form with full power. After having something to eat, I did a much better job with Tai Chi Sword. One of the judges came up to me with a big smile, and asked me how long I had been training in Jiang (sword). He was pleased when I said "six months". What a relief! :-)
I'm very happy to report that I won 1st place for both categories!!! Yay, two more gold medals under my belt!!! I'm very proud that I stick to my goal despite the obstacles. The gold medals are sweet bonuses! I'm very grateful for my master, my family, and all my friends who have supported me on this journey. This will become one of my most treasured memories. And you can bet that it will be told to my grandchildren many years from now. :-)
picture with my master Gary Carbone (center) and my classmate Robert Matthews (Photo by Carole Rizzo)
at the tournament with my master Gary (left), classmates George (middle), Lance (right), their children, and my children
at the tournament with Master Frank Yee, founder of Yee's Hung Ga International Kung Fu Association
Lion Dance performance at the tournament
We visited the national zoo in Washington D.C. over the 4th of July long weekend. It was over 95 degrees of heat & humidity, and as you can imagine, my children didn't appreciate the long march under the sun that we put them through. However, the short visit with the beloved baby panda Tai Shan made all the suffering worthwhile.
When we visited the zoo, Tai Shan was a few days shy of his 1st birthday. Considering he only weighed a few ounces at birth (at his one-month-old check-up, he was only 1.82 pounds and 12 inches long), he has grown amazing leaps and bounds within a short year!
When we arrived at the Giant Panda House, there was a huge crowd oohing-and-aahing over baby Tai Shan, who was walking proudly on a thin branch of a small tree in his habitat. The branch is very thin compared to his round body, but Tai Shan seemed to balance himself very well. The little fur ball is just sooooooo adorable! (well, he was almost 60 pounds, so technically, not very "little" any more, but that doesn't affect his CQ -- "Cute Quotient"). Tai Shan seemed to enjoy the attention from the crowd and was putting on a good show for all of us.
Then, all of a sudden, he lost his footing.... the crowd gasped! As you can see in this picture, his hind legs are hanging off the branch now.
Tai Shan tried to pull himself back on the branch, but his hind legs had nothing to grab on...
The situation went from bad to worse..... now little Tai Shan was hanging on to the thin branch with his front paws, and desperately trying to pull his heavy body up with no avail. Everyone became very anxious for him, some were cheering for him: "Com'n baby, YOU CAN DO IT!", and some were pleading "Where is his mom? Can somebody help him out?!!!"
Yeah, where is his mommy???!!! I looked around and saw Tai Shan's mommy Mei Xiang standing right outside of the Giant Panda House, hundreds of feet away from her baby cub. I thought she would come running to rescue her baby, as ANY human mommy would've by now. But, no, she seemed very cool and calm the whole time. She stroded a few feet toward her baby, looked at Tai Shan for perhaps half a minute (or less), then walked back to the house. She did came out to check on her baby the second time, but just like first time, she didn't even walk very close to Tai Shan at all, and again quickly retreated to the house.
I must say I was a bit puzzled by Mei Xiang's behavior. Perhaps I'm sometimes a little over-protective as a mom, just like my mom was when she was raising 3 daughters. Still, I couldn't believe how relaxed Mei Xiang seemed, as her first baby was losing his grip on a thin branch and about to fall to the ground any minute.
Tai Shan hung on to the branch for what felt like eternity. The inevitable finally happened.... as the crowd screamed in horror the baby panda fell flat on his back, on a pile of leaves & small twigs, etc. on the grass. He s-l-o-w-l-y picked himself up and dusted himself off. To our relief, he was not hurt. WHEW!!!!
Then-- I couldn't believe my eyes-- he proceeded to walk to a bigger tree nearby, and started climbing AGAIN!!! Well, this time he didn't get very far, because all the big trees are all wrapped with metal sheets that prevents him from climbing up. I bet the zoo keepers had a lot of experiences dealing with this highly active and adventurous baby panda. LOL
Then, it dawned on me -- NO WONDER Mei Xiang was cool as a cucumber while those of us in the audience were all freaking out. She must've seen this "routine" hundreds or even thousands of times during the past several months. All the past experiences gave her the confidence and assurance that her baby is very adventurous and very capable, and he will be all right. And her composure and confidence in her baby must've given Tai Shan even more self-confidence to explore the world and find his own way. It's almost like a mother's faith -- you've got to have tremendous faith (in your children and in the higher power) to be able to "let go". It's an act of love and acceptance to show your children that you believe in them and that's a lesson I learned from Mei Xiang today.
I thought about my own mom. Even though my sisters and I always consider her to be over-the-top over-protective of us, she did do something when I was little that was anything but. When I was 10, my mom sent me and my 9-year-old sister on an airplane to fly (from Taiwan) to Japan to visit our grandparents. Back then, Japan had very strict regulations that allowed only one visitor per person for foreigners that lived & worked in their country. That's why my grandparents could only invite the two of us, and my parents couldn't accompany us on the trip. I remember weeks before the trip, my mom tried her best to prepare us for the trip. She sewed hidden pockets in our undershirts to store our grandparents contact info, went over her "safety instructions" over and over again, and tried to teach us a few words in Japanese. So, we learned how to say "good morning", "how are you", "thank you" and count from 1 to 10 in Japanese, but that's about all our little heads could remember. Looking back, now as a mother of two myself, I can't imagaine how nerve-wrecking it must've been for my mom to hand us to the flight attendants, and wait painfully for 4-5 hours until they heard from our grandparents that they had picked us up from the airport (remember, this was pre-cell-phone era). We had a great time on the plane with all the toys & attention we received from all of the flight attendants, totally forgot about our parents waiting anxiously at home (so typical of kids, riht?) When the plane landed in Tokyo, we did have a little trouble because the customs officer asked for our passports and I of course couldn't understand a single word he said!!! Anyway, we had a great time with our grandparents in Japan that summer. Happy ending.
My daughter is 10 (almost 11) this year. If you ask me, there's NO WAY I'm going to let her fly to a foreign country either by herself or with her little brother (who is 8). In fact, I wouldn't even let her fly domestic on her own. I guess, as a mother, I'm not as brave as my mom, after all.
Tai Shan continued to try climbing a few other trees nearby. Meanwhile, Mei Xiang walked out of the Panda House again, and walked toward Tai Shan as if she was beaconing him to go home with her. Finally, Tai Shan decided to comply and walked toward his mommy. Then the two of them met up and walked back to their house. The crowd sighed of relief and satisfaction, and slowly scattered to go to other attractions.
My children got their own "pet Tai Shan" to bring home with them, and I've got all the photos & a great story to tell. I know I will never forget this amazing little panda and his admirable mother.
Tai Shan Photo Gallery
Watch Live PandaCam
Giant Panda Facts
If someone said you "fight like a girl", take it as a compliment.
This picture was taken more than a year ago, when I was still training in Tae Kwon Do. My master asked an all-female panel of judges to judge color belt tests in our school. From left to right is Jenny, Vicky, Ute and me. Jenny was a 2nd Dan Black Belt, while the rest of us were 1st Dan. We were so proud to be the judges. Shortly after this test, Ute moved to Switzerland. Vicky and I eventually stopped Tae Kwon Do training and Jenny went on to get her 3rd Dan Black Belt. Gone were the good old days when I got to train with my good friends every week.... I've since started Kung Fu and Tai Chi Sword training, and it's been great, but I will always remember the fun I had with my girlfriends.
2004 Black Belt Dinner
singing our heart out...
holiday brunch at Ute's
I've been taking Wudang Tai Chi Sword class for a few months, and it's been an exhilirating experience. Among all the traditional martial arts weapons, straight sword has always been my personal favorite. It's one of the most graceful yet deadly weapons. If you've seen "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" or other Kung Fu movies, you'd know what I'm talking about. The combination of beauty and strength intrigues me, not to mention my childhood fantasy of being a beautiful princess/sword-master. You can imagine how excited I was when I heard of this Tai Chi Sword class right in my town (Denville, New Jersey).
Wudang Tai Chi Sword turned out to be very different from the Shiaolin style or what you usually see in Kung Fu movies. Just like Tai Chi Quan, it's an internal art that requires patience, quieting your mind, balance, and proper breathing (Qing), among other things. This sword form is flowing & graceful, and so much longer & complex than the Tae Kwon Do forms I'm accustomed to. There are 6 sections in this form, and each section has so many moves & transitions. Luckily, I've got a great Master Gary Carbone. He was trained under Master Chen Junhao (1937-2001) of Shanxi Province, China. His lineage of BaFanShou/Xingyi Quan, beginning with Master Wang Xinwu, is listed on the Eagle Claw Kung Fu Society site.
This video shows the Wudang Tai Chi Sword form that I'm learning, performed by Master Jesse Tsao. There are some differences in details, but Gary said it's commonplace that every master might perform the same move with a different style. The video doesn't show the complete form, but it'd give you some idea about the form.
copyright 2006-2008 Hueina Su
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