TODAY at 2:00 pm EST: Building responsibility and self-discipline in your child without nagging, screaming, throwing a tantrum, or "Because I say so!"

** Don't forget to tune in TODAY for my Blog Talk Radio interview on this important parenting issue. **


Are you a parent of a pre-teen or teen? If not, please forward this important message to other parents you know.

Have you ever tried to get your child to do what he/she is supposed to do by nagging, screaming or resorting to "Because I say so"? I bet it didn't work so well, did it? You might have felt so frustrated that you wanted to throw a tantrum! (perhaps you did already!)

It's perfectly normal that you feel frustrated, stressed, worried, or even outright furious at times. Parenting is perhaps the most demanding and difficult job in the world. Ironically, none of us ever got pre-job training. For most parents, not so much on-the-job training, either. No wonder so many parents are so lost!

Parenting pre-teens and teens is a roller-coaster ride with many challenges. I know. I've coached many parents over the years, and I have a 13-year-old and a 10-year-old myself. It's not easy. I understand.

How do you build responsibility and self-discipline in your child without nagging, screaming, throwing a tantrum, yelling "Because I say so!" or anything else that could damage your relationship? I will be interviewed by parenting coach Joe Bruzzese on his radio show on this important parenting issue. Make sure you tune in this Thursday October 30th at 2:00 - 2:30 pm EST.

Topic: Building responsibility and self-discipline in your child without nagging, screaming, throwing a tantrum, or "Because I say so!"

We will discuss:

• What are the common mistakes parents make in parenting pre-teens and teens?

• What are the challenges for parents?
  

• 5 strategies to build responsibility and self-discipline in your child

You can either call in by phone, or log-on via your computer from anywhere with an internet connection. A recorded version of the show will be available on the website the following day.

Listen by Phone (646) 716-7230 When prompted dial 21634

Listen Online: go to www.Thinking-Forward.com at any point from 11:00 - 11:30 AM PST (2:00 – 2:30 PM EST) and click on the button that says, "Listen Live – Blog Talk Radio".

Hope you can tune in!

P.S. Visit Joe's blog Thinking-Forward for his daily (Monday-Friday) Internet TV show. He talks about all sort of issues concerning middle school kids and their parents. It's a great resource for any parents.

THE Shortcut to Joy

© copyright 2007 Hueina Su, Beyond Horizon Coaching

The other day, I was presenting a workshop called "C.P.R. for a Balanced Life". One of the principles I shared was "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." This principle always seems to strike a chord in the audience, and they often ask "How can you not suffer when bad things happen?"


Happiness is a Choice

Do you believe that life is supposed to be joyful and happiness is a choice?

Some people believe that life is all about pain and suffering. Some even act like the more they suffer, and/or self-sacrifice (think martyr), they will be able to collect some kind of reward at the end of life. Since our thoughts & beliefs create our reality, if you buy into that kind of beliefs, I think the only reward you will get is a self-fulfilling prophecy of a life full of suffering.

Sure, it's much easier to be happy when your life is all wine and roses. However, as you must have experienced, most of the times, things don't necessarily go our way. Sometimes, bad things do happen to good people, including you and me. That's when your free will and choice come into play.

Do you choose to see the glass as half-full or half-empty?

Do you choose to play victim and drown in self-pity, or do you choose to take 100% responsibility and take charge to find solutions?

Can you choose to see the positive side in everything, and be at peace no matter what?

Sometimes we have no control over the circumstances or events that happen in our life. If we were to change how we feel, the only thing we could change is how we interpret and respond to the events. There is always more than one way of looking at things. It really depends on from which angle you look at it.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. We may or may not see it, or appreciate it, but whatever happens in our lives is meant to help us grow into who we are meant to be, or help us move forward on our journey. When you choose to take on this belief, it would be easier to accept and be at peace with whatever you perceive as negative circumstances that you cannot change.


Uncommon Blessings

Sometimes when you are going through a particularly challenging time of your life, it might not be so easy to find the blessings. Can you recall something from your past that you thought was THE worst thing that could happen to you, and yet years later you realized that was actually a blessing in disguise? We all have this type of experience. What does it tell you? If you believe in a Higher Power and a Master Plan, it would be a little easier for you to trust that everything will work out eventually for your best interest. So, instead of suffering through it, why not choose to believe that it's a blessing in disguise, and choose to find the positive and/or the lesson presented to you.

Years ago I came to US for graduate school. I was very excited about the opportunity to live in a new country and pursue a graduate degree. However, within the first month, I had to have an emergency surgery, and ended up having to withdraw from all classes for the entire semester. I was devastated. The doctor came to congratulate me when he was about to discharge me and noticed that I seemed depressed. He couldn't understand why, since the surgery was very successful and it probably saved my life. I told him that I was very disappointed that I had to withdraw from all classes and waste the whole semester. It seemed like such a huge disaster back then. However, years later when I look back, all I feel is gratitude. I'm so grateful for those friends who took me to the ER in the middle of the night, and everyone who took care of me after the surgery. I'm grateful for the skillful doctor who cured a painful condition that had plagued me for years. I'm also grateful for those 3 months I got to spend in recovery. It took me a long time to realize that, that was the only 3 months in my adult life that I did not have a job, or school, or family. Hey, I didn't even have a boyfriend. I didn't have to take care of anything, or anyone. The only task I had in those 3 months was to focus on healing myself, and doing whatever I enjoyed doing. Coming out of a demanding nursing job and a challenging relationship, that was just the break I needed, before jumping into a new chapter in my life. It was, indeed, a blessing in disguise.


THE Shortcut to Joy

If all else fails, and you can't get out of a foul mood, I highly recommend that you take THE shortcut to joy -- count your blessings. I'm sure it's not difficult to find plenty of people and things that you are grateful for in your life. Bring them into your mind's eyes, and say thank-you silently to each one of them. Better yet, call or write to some of the people you are grateful for, and let them know how much you appreciate them. Trust me, you will feel better almost instantly.

So, here's my "Rx for Joy" for you: Count your blessings. Stat. Repeat as necessary.

"Reflect upon your blessings, of which every man has plenty, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."
-- Charles Dickens

"The Balancing Act": my radio interview

I was interviewed on the radio show "Protect Your American Dream" on November 13, 2007. The topic was "The Balancing Act". This radio show is mostly about financial issues, however, Jaynee Sasso, the host, invited me because she has seen the negative impact of poor time management in work-life balance, as well as in financial success.

As a professional life & business coach, I help my clients prioritize and re-design their lives, to create more work-life balance, reduce stress, improve self-care, achieve personal & career goals, and live the life they truly desire. These days, work-life balance seems to have become an impossible dream for most people. We all wear multiple hats, which comes with multitudes of responsibilities and obligations. Combining that with the need to please (or the inability to say NO) and poor time management skills, and you easily get side-tracked from your priorities and long-term goals, not to mention the possibility of burnout, depression, or even dis-ease.

So, what can you do to effectively manage your time so that you can achieve your goals, take care of your priorities, nurture yourself and avoid burnout? How do you prioritize your tasks? How do you avoid "busy-ness" and improve productivity? How do you say NO so that you can free up time for yourself and what's important for you? In this radio interview I offered many practical tips and strategies that you can apply to your life.

Click here to listen to the interview recording. Visit my website for more information about my coaching programs and FREE Teleclass series. While you are there, don't forget to sign up to download your FREE Intensive Self-Care Kit.

James Ray Teleclass on April 5th

FYI: This sounds like a great Teleclass. I've just signed myself up.

James Ray, as you know, is one of the teachers from The Secret.

This Teleclass is tomorrow night, April 5th, so make sure you check it out today!

========================================
Program Your Mind for Certain Success

If your mind is holding you back from the success you've always suspected was just beyond your grasp...

If your mind is the reason you are held back in a job working for someone you don't like making far less than you are worth...

If your mind is keeping you from experiencing the harmony and peace you know heart desires- and deserves…

If you are ready to make a major financial change in your own life, may I introduce you to something I feel will create a profound difference in your life?

James Ray is a leading expert on the psychology, the science of success and coaching for success. He has devoted his life to helping ordinary people lead extraordinary lives.

And now it's your turn to experience this quantum leap forward as you have the opportunity to hear James Ray discuss his Success Certain Coaching Program on a special preview call.

Now, you will find all of the detail you need for this special limited space call by clicking on the link below. Make sure to read it all - and note the special bonus you'll receive just by being one the first participants to enroll. They're actually paying you to be on the call with the bonus item!!

<< -- Click this link for details now -- >>

Enjoy The Call!

Carnival of Healing is Today's Featured Carnival at BlogCarnival.com

I just found out that Carnival of Healing is Today's Featured Carnival at the Blog Carnival today!

More excitingly, they are featuring THE edition (Carnival of Healing #78: Blossom into More) I hosted on March 24 on my other blog.

Carnival of Healing is a weekly collection of articles about health & healing, personal development and spirituality. There are some really good articles in the edition I hosted. Check them out!




When you click on the Carnival of Healing link it takes you right to my post. This is soooo cool. Considering that there are 9190 editions of 1375 Carnivals listed on the Blog Carnival website and 167 new Carnivals in the past 30 days alone, it's a very rare opportunity to be the Featured Carnival.

Go check it out TODAY!!! They feature one carnival every day, so if you miss it today, you won't see it!!!

Carnival of Healing #78: Blossom into More

This week I am hosting Carnival of Healing #78: Blossom into More on my other blog Intensive Care for the Nurturer's Soul.

Carnival of Healing is a weekly round-up of personal Web sites and blogs on the topics of holistic health, wellness, spirituality, and self empowerment. In honor of the first day of Spring (March 21) and my upcoming birthday, I decided to choose a spring-like title for this edition of the Carnival of Healing.

Spring, to me, signifies renewal, growth and hope. There is also a tremendous sense of empowerment to observe how the entire planet and its creatures "come back to life", so to speak, after a brutal winter. Even the tiniest of seed holds the power and potential within to sprout and grow into something spectacular. As human beings, we have more options and choices than plants and most animals in the nature. We ought to celebrate and harness the power within us, to heal ourselves and make this world a better place. I'd like to share with you a quote I came across the other day.

"You are built not to shrink down to less
but to blossom into more."
-- Oprah Winfrey

I hope you allow your self and your life to grow into full bloom.

Go over to my other blog now to read all the fantastic articles we have this week!

Take Time for Friendships

© Copyright 2007 Hueina Su, Beyond Horizon Coaching

I remember reading a story about a mom telling her soon-to-be-married daughter to never let go of her girlfriends. At first the daughter thought she wouldn't need her girlfriends any more, since she was going to become a wife, and have her own family very soon. She did, however, heed her mom's advice. She kept in touch with her girlfriends over the years, and as she grew older (and wiser), she became more and more appreciative of her mom's advice and her girlfriends.

I, for one, can totally relate to that story.

My own mother, who loves me dearly, gave me a very different advice, though, before I became a mom myself. She told me, "Be prepared to sacrifice at least 10 years of your life for this baby". Yes, sacrifice. That's the exact word she used. I looked at her and nodded, like a good girl I've always been, but, the "rebelling" part of me was like "Sacrifice? 10 years? No way! What about me? What about my life???"

I know that "self-sacrifice" is a virtue in my culture (I wrote an article about this before), and my parents totally subscribe to that value. My mother basically cut off her ties with all her friends when she got married, partially because she thought that was "the right thing" to do, and partially because she was too busy helping my father's practice and raising the three of us. She took pride in being a "good mother" (she is a great mother, in fact), but, even as a young child, I could see her lonliness. There's a void in her heart that even her picture-perfect family couldn't fill.

So, on that day when my mother offered her motherly advice, I nodded in appreciation for her love, but knew that that's one advice I would not take. I knew deep in my heart of hearts that, I will love my children like no one else will love them, but, there's some part of me and my life I will not "sacrifice". My friendship with my friends is one of those things.

Over the years, I've made many dear friends, in school, at work, and through my children's friends. Some of my oldest friends have gone through the same life transitions as I did: college, graduate school, career, marriage, kids, 2nd career, etc. We've been through a lot together and separately. The guys who used to play tennis with me till sundown every weekend, are now playing a bigger game in the business world. The girls who used to play dress up with dreamy eyes, have since put on career suits or are busy dressing up their lovely kids. We used to travel to scenic spots and pose for each other's photographic "masterpiece"; now most pictures we take are about our own kids (most of my friends even leave themselves out of the holiday photo greeting cards).

We don't always keep in touch very often (you know how busy motherhood/fatherhood can be), and some of us don't even live on the same continent any more, but we've somehow managed to still keep each other "around" in our lives. You know the kind of friends who you can pick up the phone to talk to, after not hearing from each other for years, and still feel like you've never been apart? I was overjoyed when one of my best friends in high school got in touch with me (thank goodness for Internet), after we'd lost touch for more than 10 years!! It was such a precious gift to have her back in my life. We've got a lot of catching up to do, needless to say.

Last month, I was invited to speak at a local MOMS Club. This brought back SO many memories! There was a time when my husband and I moved a lot due to his job. We'd lived in 4 different states in 6 calendar years. When we made the move from Maryland to Delaware, I had to give up my career as a counselor, and we both made the decision that I would stay home for a while to take care of our 8-month old baby girl. When we moved, we only knew one couple in the state of Delaware, who lived half an hour away from us. I was totally unprepared for the transition from full-time working mom to full-time stay-at-home mom with my first baby, in a new city where we knew nobody, and our families hundreds of miles away. I missed my own office, my lunch break, my colleagues & friends, my paycheck, but most of all, my freedom. I was lonely and exhausted. Then one day I saw a flyer in the grocery store about MOMS Club, and that changed my life. I was so fortunate to have found a small group of moms with similar education & background (we were all professional women who decided to stay home for our first baby), and our babies were only a month or two apart. The weekly playgroup and the friendship I formed with these moms became my life-savor. We all went on to have our second (some of us had the third) child, and although most of us moved away after a couple years, most of us kept in touch and remained good friends till today (my daughter is 11 years old this year).

It's a rare gift in life to have good friends like that. I'm very blessed and grateful to have many in my life. How about you? Do you have friends you can lean on? Do you stay in touch with your dearest friends? Do you have some long lost friends that you would like to re-connect? Or, would you like to make some new friends who share your life experiences, passion or values? What are you waiting for? Life is too short.

"We will meet again my friend,
A hundred years from today
Far away from where we lived
And where we used to play.
We will know each others' eyes
And wonder where we met
Your laugh will sound familiar
Your heart, I won't forget.
We will meet,
I'm sure of this,
But let's not wait till then...
Let's take a walk beneath the stars
And share this world again."
-- Ron Atchison

Don't wait any longer. We're all extremely busy. When do you think you will actually have "free time" to connect with your friends? You've got to "make time" for friendships -- nurture the old ones and cultivate the new ones.

When you think of a friend, pick up the phone or drop him/her a quick note. It doesn't have to be elaborate, either. While a handmade card will be treasured for a long time, a quick email to say "hello, I miss you" would be appreciated as well.

Make a point to make a coffee or lunch date with your good friends. I usually try to have at least one of these dates a month. Just seeing them on my calendar makes me so happy. Occasionally I go out for a Girls Night Out. Since my kids were very little, they knew that Mommy needed her "playdate" just as much as they needed theirs. I always come home energized and happier, and the good mood could last for days or even weeks.

If you've ever gone out with your girlfriends, I'm sure your husband noticed the difference when you came home. That's a good reason to convince him that you should take turns to go out with your own friends, on a somewhat regular basis. It's good for your mental well-being as well as your relationship at home. If you don't have a partner to watch your kids, try to hire a sitter or team up with another mom, so you can spend some quality time with your friends sans your kids. Even though you and your friends might still spend your time talking about your kids, spending time with your friends alone will definitely lift your spirit.

It takes efforts to maintain friendships, of course. It's not always easy, especially when you've got a full plate already, but the investment in friendship is well worth it in the long run.

Be the one to reach out to your friends. Make a small (or grand) gesture to show that you are thinking of them today. Both you and your friends will thank you for that.

Celebrating YOU: The Leading Lady of Your Show

© Copyright 2007 Hueina Su, Beyond Horizon Coaching

Most people think about Valentine's Day, when they think about the month of February. It's important to celebrate your loved ones, and love in general. However, while you are busy planning a special evening with your special someone, I would like to remind you to celebrate YOU -- the most important (but often neglected) person in YOUR life.

Whenever I asked the question "Who is the most important person in your life?" My clients and workshop participants always answered "my husband/wife, my kids, my parents", etc.

NOT ONCE has someone answered "Me" or "Myself".

NOT ONCE.

I often joked that "If your answer is anyone but yourself, then you need to come see me ASAP!"

Think about it: What would your life be without YOU?

What would your loved ones' life be, without a healthy, happy and vibrant YOU?

When my clients said to me "But the show must go on", I asked "Whose show are you talking about?" I told them, "You may not realize this, but YOU are the Leading Lady of your show, the show that's Your Life".

Every single one of us is the Leading Lady (or Man) of our own life.

Now, let me make myself clear. This is NOT about being ego-maniac or narcissistic. It's about self love, the greatest love of all. (Remember that Whitney Houston song? Now that I mentioned it, I bet you can't get that song out of your head now, can ya?)

"But, ...."

I know, there's a big BUT coming up right at this moment....

You probably have convincing reasons why you are not the most important person in your life, and why you cannot afford to put your self-care as top priority.

As a professional life coach, consultant and mother of two, over the years I've heard many, many legitimate reasons as well as excuses (and the limiting beliefs behind them), from my clients, my friends, and my family. I have experienced many similar challenges myself, in my previous roles as a nurse, counselor, full-time stay-at-home mom, full-time working mom, small business owner, etc. Believe me, I know. It's not easy.

It's especially hard when you have some limiting beliefs around the issue of self love, self esteem and self-care. You know the limiting beliefs I'm talking about -- "I can't afford it", "I'm not worthy enough", "I don't deserve it", "I must take care of everyone else first (or else)", "If I say no, people won't love/like me any more", etc. etc. etc.

Does it ring a bell?

These limiting beliefs took years to form, and it will take some time and some hard work to overcome them. But, it's not impossible. When you can break free from these limiting beliefs, you will finally be free to be your authentic self, and free to create the life you truly desire. If you need some coaching around these issues, I'd be happy to help you.

Even when you are still chained to your limiting beliefs, you can still make a conscious choice, right now, to love and accept yourself, and to treat yourself with respect and some much needed TLC.

Remember, you are the Leading Lady and director of your own show. You are in charge and fully responsible for how your show turns out to be. If your show is competing for the Academy of Life Award, which categories will it be nominated? Which awards will you win?

This Valentine's Day, make a point to celebrate YOU, honor yourself, and give yourself the LOVE and star treatment you truly deserve.


*Read my previous articles on self love:
From Self Sacrifice to Self Love
The Magic Kitchen
The Snapshot of Your Life

Funny New Year Resolutions

Ahhh, it's that time of the year again! If you're like most people, you have written a brand new list of New Year Resolutions. But, do you know that most people fail at keeping their New Year Resolutions? A study (from University of Scranton, PA) showed that among the millions of American women who resolve to lose weight on New Year's Day, a quarter of them will go back to their old ways WITHIN ONE WEEK! Yikes!

While I was surfing the net, I came across these New Year Resolutions for Internet Junkies. How many of these can you relate to (or have you resolved to)?

Some people keep making the same New Year Resolutions with a twist year after year. This is what happened to one guy when he looked back on his "Year of Resolutions..."

What are your New Year Resolutions for 2007? If you keep making and breaking your New Year Resolutions year after year, I highly recommend that you come to my FREE Teleclass "The 5 Master Keys to Keeping Your New Year Resolutions". There is no charge for the class, but you must register in order to receive the conference call number (bridgeline) and access code. Hope to "see" you on the call.

Carnival of Healing #60: Echoes in Eternity

This week I am hosting the Carnival of Healing #60: Echoes in Eternity on Intensive Care for the Nurturer's Soul, and it's up today!

Carnival of Healing is a weekly round-up of personal Web sites and blogs on the topics of holistic health, wellness, spirituality, and self empowerment. This week there are 14 great articles to help you heal your body and nurture your soul. So go over there now and check out the Carnival of Healing #60: Echoes in Eternity.

Personal DNA

I took the Personal DNA test today and found it interesting.

According to this report, I am an "Encouraging Creator". My "imagination, confidence, willingness to explore, and appreciation of beauty" makes me a CREATOR; and my "outgoing nature (?), understanding of others, and directness" makes me ENCOURAGING. You can read My Personal DNA Report here.

Encouraging Creator

It's a simple test, and I think my result is quite accurate. Give it a try and see for yourself. Go to Personal DNA to take the test, and let me know your result.

Wudang Tai Chi Sword

I've been taking Wudang Tai Chi Sword class for a few months, and it's been an exhilirating experience. Among all the traditional martial arts weapons, straight sword has always been my personal favorite. It's one of the most graceful yet deadly weapons. If you've seen "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" or other Kung Fu movies, you'd know what I'm talking about. The combination of beauty and strength intrigues me, not to mention my childhood fantasy of being a beautiful princess/sword-master. You can imagine how excited I was when I heard of this Tai Chi Sword class right in my town (Denville, New Jersey).

Wudang Tai Chi Sword turned out to be very different from the Shiaolin style or what you usually see in Kung Fu movies. Just like Tai Chi Quan, it's an internal art that requires patience, quieting your mind, balance, and proper breathing (Qing), among other things. This sword form is flowing & graceful, and so much longer & complex than the Tae Kwon Do forms I'm accustomed to. There are 6 sections in this form, and each section has so many moves & transitions. Luckily, I've got a great Master Gary Carbone. He was trained under Master Chen Junhao (1937-2001) of Shanxi Province, China. His lineage of BaFanShou/Xingyi Quan, beginning with Master Wang Xinwu, is listed on the Eagle Claw Kung Fu Society site.

This video shows the Wudang Tai Chi Sword form that I'm learning, performed by Master Jesse Tsao. There are some differences in details, but Gary said it's commonplace that every master might perform the same move with a different style. The video doesn't show the complete form, but it'd give you some idea about the form.