Lexophiles jokes

Lexophiles - lovers of words - will enjoy these.

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you may be repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

My Blog at Carnival of Family Life

Last week I just learned that it's a great way to share my blog articles by submitting them to "blog carnivals". So, I submitted my article "Spray It, Don't Say It??!!!!" at the Carnival of Family Life. Check out the list of articles at this blog carnival.

Of The Princess And The Pea: Carnival of Family Life #15

5 Tips for a woman...

My friend Lois sent me this. I thought it was very cute.

--------------------------
Five tips for a woman....

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Foot Note:

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

Parenting Lesson from the Amazing Giant Panda

We visited the national zoo in Washington D.C. over the 4th of July long weekend. It was over 95 degrees of heat & humidity, and as you can imagine, my children didn't appreciate the long march under the sun that we put them through. However, the short visit with the beloved baby panda Tai Shan made all the suffering worthwhile.

When we visited the zoo, Tai Shan was a few days shy of his 1st birthday. Considering he only weighed a few ounces at birth (at his one-month-old check-up, he was only 1.82 pounds and 12 inches long), he has grown amazing leaps and bounds within a short year!

When we arrived at the Giant Panda House, there was a huge crowd oohing-and-aahing over baby Tai Shan, who was walking proudly on a thin branch of a small tree in his habitat. The branch is very thin compared to his round body, but Tai Shan seemed to balance himself very well. The little fur ball is just sooooooo adorable! (well, he was almost 60 pounds, so technically, not very "little" any more, but that doesn't affect his CQ -- "Cute Quotient"). Tai Shan seemed to enjoy the attention from the crowd and was putting on a good show for all of us.


Then, all of a sudden, he lost his footing.... the crowd gasped! As you can see in this picture, his hind legs are hanging off the branch now.


Tai Shan tried to pull himself back on the branch, but his hind legs had nothing to grab on...


The situation went from bad to worse..... now little Tai Shan was hanging on to the thin branch with his front paws, and desperately trying to pull his heavy body up with no avail. Everyone became very anxious for him, some were cheering for him: "Com'n baby, YOU CAN DO IT!", and some were pleading "Where is his mom? Can somebody help him out?!!!"

Yeah, where is his mommy???!!! I looked around and saw Tai Shan's mommy Mei Xiang standing right outside of the Giant Panda House, hundreds of feet away from her baby cub. I thought she would come running to rescue her baby, as ANY human mommy would've by now. But, no, she seemed very cool and calm the whole time. She stroded a few feet toward her baby, looked at Tai Shan for perhaps half a minute (or less), then walked back to the house. She did came out to check on her baby the second time, but just like first time, she didn't even walk very close to Tai Shan at all, and again quickly retreated to the house.

I must say I was a bit puzzled by Mei Xiang's behavior. Perhaps I'm sometimes a little over-protective as a mom, just like my mom was when she was raising 3 daughters. Still, I couldn't believe how relaxed Mei Xiang seemed, as her first baby was losing his grip on a thin branch and about to fall to the ground any minute.

Tai Shan hung on to the branch for what felt like eternity. The inevitable finally happened.... as the crowd screamed in horror the baby panda fell flat on his back, on a pile of leaves & small twigs, etc. on the grass. He s-l-o-w-l-y picked himself up and dusted himself off. To our relief, he was not hurt. WHEW!!!!

Then-- I couldn't believe my eyes-- he proceeded to walk to a bigger tree nearby, and started climbing AGAIN!!! Well, this time he didn't get very far, because all the big trees are all wrapped with metal sheets that prevents him from climbing up. I bet the zoo keepers had a lot of experiences dealing with this highly active and adventurous baby panda. LOL

Then, it dawned on me -- NO WONDER Mei Xiang was cool as a cucumber while those of us in the audience were all freaking out. She must've seen this "routine" hundreds or even thousands of times during the past several months. All the past experiences gave her the confidence and assurance that her baby is very adventurous and very capable, and he will be all right. And her composure and confidence in her baby must've given Tai Shan even more self-confidence to explore the world and find his own way. It's almost like a mother's faith -- you've got to have tremendous faith (in your children and in the higher power) to be able to "let go". It's an act of love and acceptance to show your children that you believe in them and that's a lesson I learned from Mei Xiang today.

I thought about my own mom. Even though my sisters and I always consider her to be over-the-top over-protective of us, she did do something when I was little that was anything but. When I was 10, my mom sent me and my 9-year-old sister on an airplane to fly (from Taiwan) to Japan to visit our grandparents. Back then, Japan had very strict regulations that allowed only one visitor per person for foreigners that lived & worked in their country. That's why my grandparents could only invite the two of us, and my parents couldn't accompany us on the trip. I remember weeks before the trip, my mom tried her best to prepare us for the trip. She sewed hidden pockets in our undershirts to store our grandparents contact info, went over her "safety instructions" over and over again, and tried to teach us a few words in Japanese. So, we learned how to say "good morning", "how are you", "thank you" and count from 1 to 10 in Japanese, but that's about all our little heads could remember. Looking back, now as a mother of two myself, I can't imagaine how nerve-wrecking it must've been for my mom to hand us to the flight attendants, and wait painfully for 4-5 hours until they heard from our grandparents that they had picked us up from the airport (remember, this was pre-cell-phone era). We had a great time on the plane with all the toys & attention we received from all of the flight attendants, totally forgot about our parents waiting anxiously at home (so typical of kids, riht?) When the plane landed in Tokyo, we did have a little trouble because the customs officer asked for our passports and I of course couldn't understand a single word he said!!! Anyway, we had a great time with our grandparents in Japan that summer. Happy ending.

My daughter is 10 (almost 11) this year. If you ask me, there's NO WAY I'm going to let her fly to a foreign country either by herself or with her little brother (who is 8). In fact, I wouldn't even let her fly domestic on her own. I guess, as a mother, I'm not as brave as my mom, after all.


Tai Shan continued to try climbing a few other trees nearby. Meanwhile, Mei Xiang walked out of the Panda House again, and walked toward Tai Shan as if she was beaconing him to go home with her. Finally, Tai Shan decided to comply and walked toward his mommy. Then the two of them met up and walked back to their house. The crowd sighed of relief and satisfaction, and slowly scattered to go to other attractions.


My children got their own "pet Tai Shan" to bring home with them, and I've got all the photos & a great story to tell. I know I will never forget this amazing little panda and his admirable mother.

Tai Shan Photo Gallery

Watch Live PandaCam

Giant Panda Facts

The Lightest Panda Cub Born in Captivity (Beijing)

Say what now???

All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear... and be misread.

1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. And don't forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales, www.molestationnursery.com

6. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always www.ipanywhere.com

7. The First Cumming Methodist Church Web site is www.cummingfirst.com

8. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their Web site, www.speedofart.com

Computer Geek or Serial Killer

This is a test to see if you can spot serial killers by looking at their photos. There are 10 photos to look at -- these people are either a computer geek or a serial killer. Go with your gut feeling and click on your choice. You will get your score at the end.

I got 10 out of 10!!! (yeah I know, I'm very surprised myself)

Now it's your turn to take the test.

Personal DNA

I took the Personal DNA test today and found it interesting.

According to this report, I am an "Encouraging Creator". My "imagination, confidence, willingness to explore, and appreciation of beauty" makes me a CREATOR; and my "outgoing nature (?), understanding of others, and directness" makes me ENCOURAGING. You can read My Personal DNA Report here.

Encouraging Creator

It's a simple test, and I think my result is quite accurate. Give it a try and see for yourself. Go to Personal DNA to take the test, and let me know your result.

Finger Soccer

Check out this finger soccer video. That takes skills! It's way cool!

Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager

I found this blog Jinkies! on ClubMom website that features all kind of funny & wacky stuff this mom finds on the Internet, and that's where I first found this video.

If you like Star Wars, you'd love this video . Check it out! Also check out Episode 2!

If someone said you fight like a girl....

If someone said you "fight like a girl", take it as a compliment.


This picture was taken more than a year ago, when I was still training in Tae Kwon Do. My master asked an all-female panel of judges to judge color belt tests in our school. From left to right is Jenny, Vicky, Ute and me. Jenny was a 2nd Dan Black Belt, while the rest of us were 1st Dan. We were so proud to be the judges. Shortly after this test, Ute moved to Switzerland. Vicky and I eventually stopped Tae Kwon Do training and Jenny went on to get her 3rd Dan Black Belt. Gone were the good old days when I got to train with my good friends every week.... I've since started Kung Fu and Tai Chi Sword training, and it's been great, but I will always remember the fun I had with my girlfriends.

2004 Black Belt Dinner

singing our heart out...

holiday dinner at LeCirque

holiday brunch at Ute's

Brokeback Teddys

Last Sunday after dinner, my kids and I were lying on my son CB's bed, just hanging out & chatting. They love to play a game where they'd put one or more stuffed animals inside their shirt, and ask me to guess who that is. Of course, each and every one of their animals has a name (and they have a HUGE collection, as most American kids do), and they expect me to remember all of them. The weekend before my husband and I were cleaning out the boxes from the storage shed in our backyard. There was a whole box of stuffed animals that we intended to donate to the charity. But, since Vincent was the first one who uncovered that box, he and his sister Miranda claimed all the contents, which makes their stuffed animal collection MUCH bigger. As you can imagine, this makes the "animal guessing game" much more challenging for me.

Anyway, as we were lying there and playing with all the stuffed animals scattered on CB's bed, CB held up two brown teddy bears and, in a dramatic voice like the narrator of a romance movie, he exclaimed, "Look how cute they are! They are meant for each other!" I was amused by his comment but never expected what he was about to say next.... LK looked at the teddy bears and asked (naturally curious as any little girl, or grown woman, for that matter), "Um, which one is the girl and which one is the boy?" Without missing a beat, CB replied "They are both boys. They are gay." LK and I looked at each other and bursted into hysterical laughs, and CB quickly joined us. All three of us were rolling in bed, laughing!!!!! I thought to myself, OK, this is when you know you've let your kids watch too much "Will & Grace" with you! LOL

After we were able to catch our breath, I said, "Well, I guess this makes them 'Brokeback Teddys' ". Of course, at this point I had to explain where the term "Brokeback" came from. And, this is why these handsome bears are now known as the "Brokeback Teddys" in our house. They are doing their "Brokeback Tai Chi" poses. Don't they look cute? :-)

Spray It, Don't Say It??!!!!

I saw this poster in the ladies room at Washington D.C. Zoo and just had to take a picture of it!

Obviously, lobsters have entirely different social etiquette from us humans. The poster says, lobsters communicate by spraying urine at each other! Man, we're complaining that our little boys (or husbands) have "poor aim" in the bathroom! Aren't you glad they're not lobsters!!! LOL!